Life is a test...

Life simply has its ups and downs. Sometimes I wonder why happiness cannot last forever. I wonder why we need to undergo challenges and trials in our journey in this so-called life. Isn’t it more beautiful if everyone is free from problems?! But at the end of the day, I still realize that we need problems. We have to be sharpened so as to become the best persons we can be.


Yesterday, I attended a post LTS meeting with Atty. Abad and other LTS participants. While waiting for Atty. Abad, Al and I went to the Dean’s Office to check if our professors have already submitted our grades. Kuya Ryan informed us that we already have our booklets in Criminal Law and Labor. At that moment, I just wanted to go out of the office. I was really nervous to see my grade in the finals. While checking our test booklets, we were surprised to see the grades. There were only two or three who passed and I failed! I got 74!


I know we all did our best. On my part, I have read two or three books just to be able to understand and master the subject. I spent so many sleepless nights in order to get a good grade. But my efforts are useless.


With what happened, I put the blame on our professor. I did my part! But he failed to do his responsibilities. He did not teach well. I didn’t learn anything from him. Everything that I know now was a product of my hard work. Things would have been different if he had been a good and responsible professor. As first year students, he shouldn’t have expected that we know everything, that it is easy for us to understand all the things we read and study. He should have guided us. He should have done his part.


I don’t know if I will fail Crim or not. Some of my friends and kaduwas (a term we use in referring a co-member in our org) told me to relax because I will pass. They told me that our professor will surely make some adjustments. Despite of these, I remain reluctant because of the uncertainties that surround me.


I’m not used to failing. I’m not used to getting low grades. But I guess I have to prepare myself for the worst thing that can happen. It hurts but I cannot do anything. I just have to accept it.


I will lose my scholarship. I will not anymore make it in the Dean’s List. My parents, especially my dad, will get disappointed of me. These are the consequences I have to face. What I’m going through right now is too difficult. I am in pain! I’m losing a lot!


My problem in school is just among the many problems I am facing right now. Sometimes I just want to give up and I question God why I have to be tested all the time. I’m already tired. But I just trust Him. I know God knows what is best for me. He wills these things to happen, let his will be done.


Journeying life is never easy. Most of the time, one has to experience downfalls to recognize his own strengths and weaknesses. Our life experiences are our best teachers. Though it is too difficult to live life, we just have to remember that the Lord has a better plan for all of us. Things happen for a reason.